Avatar
Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_Feed Topic RSSsp_TopicIcon
Looking for Some Feedback
February 8, 2015
1:47 pm
Avatar
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
February 8, 2015
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey there, first time on the forum and totally stoked about it! I'm looking for some feedback.

What do ya'll think about my squeeze page?

What do ya'll think about my sales page

Thanks for checking it out!

Dave

February 8, 2015
10:12 pm
Avatar
Los Angeles
Admin
Forum Posts: 4331
Member Since:
June 7, 2011
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey David,

It's looking pretty good. I think perhaps the headline and sub headline could use a little tweaking, only in that when I read the headline I don't really visualize what kind of music you make. You might work on those descriptive terms a bit. I assume it's electronic based on the keyboard in the image, which helps. But you really want to snag a pre-existing interest with your copy, and right now I'm not personally seeing that in the language.

And for me the fact that you say that your family and friends call you "Dave show" makes you sound sort of small time to me. You might try something more like "Hey there. My name is David.  A.K.A, Dave Show. And right now, I am offering up three of my latest singles for FREE!".

Sales page looks good.

Of course all of this is just one guy's opinion. Testing is all that will tell you for sure. Hope that helps.

Having trouble with your marketing? Wish you could have an experienced direct-to-fan marketing expert look over your actual campaigns, music, or content and offer feedback? Or perhaps you’re just looking for a little one-on-one assistance so you can ask questions that pertain to your specific goals and get a second, more experienced, perspective? Click here to book a session with me now.

February 9, 2015
9:35 pm
Avatar
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
February 8, 2015
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey John,

Thanks for the feedback.

I think I get what you're saying with being more descriptive so I went ahead and changed it to this. Better?

I also changed my sub headline. I am small time, so I felt the "family & friends" thing was appropriate haha!

Thanks again,

Dave

February 11, 2015
11:11 pm
Avatar
Los Angeles
Admin
Forum Posts: 4331
Member Since:
June 7, 2011
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Yeah, I think that's much better. Now I have a very precise idea of what you sound like. That's what you want. But ultimately testing will tell you everything.

And I get what you mean about feeling small time, but don't undersell yourself. Don't oversell yourself either. But you want to come off as pro. Only thing I'd do is add a comma after Dave. As in "Dave, AKA Dave Show." Otherwise it reads as one long and confusing name :-)

Good job with the improvements.

Having trouble with your marketing? Wish you could have an experienced direct-to-fan marketing expert look over your actual campaigns, music, or content and offer feedback? Or perhaps you’re just looking for a little one-on-one assistance so you can ask questions that pertain to your specific goals and get a second, more experienced, perspective? Click here to book a session with me now.

Forum Timezone: Pacific/Auckland
Most Users Ever Online: 221
Currently Online:
Guest(s) 24
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 7
Members: 2846
Moderators: 0
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 2
Forums: 9
Topics: 1466
Posts: 11464