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"Small town boy makes good"
May 9, 2014
6:54 pm
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Ezra Donner
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Hi everyone,

My name is Ezra and I'm a first-time poster. I got MMM back in December and just joined the Insider Circle last night! Glad to be here and look forward to learning with all of you.

I started with the video on Copywriting for musicians and have been thinking about the "Story Lines that Work." I created a new blog post modeled on the "Small town boy makes good" (with a few hints of "The reluctant hero"). Anyone who would like to take a look and offer some feedback?

Here is the link:

http://ezradonner.com/from-nor.....egie-hall/

The post is Published so others can read, but so far I haven't linked to it yet from facebook or anywhere else, in case I decide to make changes.

Thanks!

Ezra

May 11, 2014
4:44 am
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Los Angeles
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June 7, 2011
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Looks good. One small thought though... Perhaps rather than starting with the line about "that's me in the photo", I might rearrange the first few paragraphs so you start with something like...

Ten years ago, if you had told me the scenario depicted in the image above would take place I would have laughed. In fact, ten years ago, when someone told me to imagine this scenario, I did laugh!

... or something like that. Draws me in more and makes me want to know what you're talking about. Until I get to that sentence I am not sure if I am just reading a "check out something I have accomplished" post, which most people aren't that interested in. However when I get to that sentence I realize I'm about to hear a story. So maybe start there? Just my two cents. It's also good the way it is.

Having trouble with your marketing? Wish you could have an experienced direct-to-fan marketing expert look over your actual campaigns, music, or content and offer feedback? Or perhaps you’re just looking for a little one-on-one assistance so you can ask questions that pertain to your specific goals and get a second, more experienced, perspective? Click here to book a session with me now.

May 11, 2014
2:05 pm
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Ezra Donner
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Thanks John!

May 12, 2014
10:55 pm
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Los Angeles
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Forum Posts: 4331
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June 7, 2011
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Any time :-)

Having trouble with your marketing? Wish you could have an experienced direct-to-fan marketing expert look over your actual campaigns, music, or content and offer feedback? Or perhaps you’re just looking for a little one-on-one assistance so you can ask questions that pertain to your specific goals and get a second, more experienced, perspective? Click here to book a session with me now.

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